Your name is EQUIUS ZAHHAK. You love being CUTE. You are so cute, you would surely be an elite collector’s item. And while being preserved in all your glory behind glass would be quite honorable, you would prefer to join the ranks of your other plushie friends for teatime, perhaps the most noble activity a little plushie can participate in. Unfortunately, you SUCK AT TEATIME. You have not successfully sipped a SINGLE CUP OF TEA. Every time you try, you BREAK THE CUP. You are simply too cute.
But with your delicate guidance, dear aristocrat, perhaps you can finally give this deceptively powerful little freak the 100%urious and time-honored plushie tradition he has always yearned for, whisking him away to a land of little cubes and tea. Or you could simply succumb to his charms and squeeze him with all your might, he can take it! He’s back after 15 years, after all, so don’t we all owe it to him to give him all the love he missed? And if you’re feeling particularly moved, don’t forget to reunite him with his beloved moirail Nepeta, also on sale now! They’ve been apart for so long, and now you’re personally culpable for every continued moment of their separation!
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