Your name is GAMZEE MAKARA. You get pretty excited by POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS OF A GRIM PERSUASION WHICH MAY NOT BE IN FULL POSSESSION OF THEIR MENTAL FACULTIES. You belong to a RATHER OBSCURE COLLECTION, which foretells of a BAND OF ROWDY AND CAPRICIOUS COLLECTIBLES which will rise one day on a MYTHICAL PARADISE PLANET. The full roster of this collection is SOMEWHAT INCOMPLETE by current standards. But you don’t care, you got to be going with what feels right at where your heart’s up in, you know? You’ve got ALL THIS LEGIT, ACTUAL HONKABLE HORN inside you, and sometimes your happy customers squeeze them and SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF THEMSELVES.
That’s right, Dark Carnival devotees. You’ve waited long enough, you’ve cracked the wicked elixir and poured two out, you’ve baked your sopor slime pies… thusly, summoned by the sweet stench of your offerings, Gamzee is finally here! Invite this veritable festival of fuzzy fun, this heroically honkable hunk, this prodigiously purple plushie into your home and reap the rewards of his company, including but not limited to:
- charmingly weird rap-offs
- delightful juggling shenanigans
- eerie, low whispering in the night
But the fun doesn’t need to stop there, because his best bro Tavros is also on sale! The rap-offs could always be that much weirder, so considering bringing a friend home with Gamzee! Or you could always buy two Gamzees, one per messiah.
after all, they were always both him.
AND ALSO MOTHERFUCKING HIM
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